There’s Banana In My Ear! {A Cautionary Tale}

Sometimes the long days of summer stretch out and are too long. During one of those long summer afternoons, I agreed to let Emmy give me a facial. One of her favorite books is Fancy Nancy: Ooh La La! It’s Beauty Day! In the book, Nancy gives her not-so-fancy mom a spa day for her birthday. Included in the book is a recipe for a banana honey facial.

Fancy Nancy Beauty Day

So we mashed up the banana and mixed in some honey, and Voila! We had a facial! Nancy’s mom reclined on a lounge chair outside, but I chose to lie down on the kitchen floor with a towel under my head. Lily placed two cucumber slices on my eyes, and then the girls gooped the banana mask on my face a little too eagerly. Gobs of banana dripped down my cheeks toward my ears. I was supposed to leave the mask on for ten minutes.

I held out for six loooong minutes.

When I got up, I had banana in my hair and in my ears. Fortunately, I had already planned on taking a shower after my facial. Unfortunately, the shower did not rinse the banana out of my right ear.

Then I did a very bad thing.

I used a Q-tip.

As I was twirling the Q-tip in my ear, I felt the banana go further into my ear. And then, I couldn’t hear very well. My ear was so completely clogged that I was like Ernie from Sesame Street when he had an actual banana in his ear. Unlike Ernie, my clogged ear was driving me completely batty!

I tried putting a little rubbing alcohol in my ear, which helps to get water out after swimming. No luck.

I tried a little hydrogen peroxide, and could hear the fizzing behind the banana for at least half an hour. It did nothing.

I bought an ear syringe to try to wash the banana out. Nope. Wasn’t gonna budge the banana.

The next day, I finally caved in and made an appointment at a Walgreen’s clinic. And when I got there, I told the truth.

My daughters gave me a facial and I think I have some banana in my ear.

Boy, did I feel silly.

The nurse practitioner had the right tool, however, and she pumped and pumped and pumped water into my ear until I felt dizzy. Out fell a blob (which did not look like banana, but I knew it was) and the relief was so immediate I just about cried. The nurse suggested that next time I should put some cotton in my ears.

Ha. There won’t be a next time.

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P.S. Wait! Don’t stop reading yet! I know you’re wondering about how the banana face mask worked. It actually made my skin feel very soft, and I may use it again…without my assistants’ help.

 

5 Things That Are Tacky

tacky things 2

5. Glue dots – Just tacky enough for the “kid” project you are making “with” your kids. Keeps preschool teachers’ fingers less tacky than white glue!

gluedots

4. Keeping your husband’s ten dollar bill that you borrowed to buy your daughter a Pinkie Pie ice cream bar after finding out the concession stand is closed.

Pinkie Pie Pops

3. Tacky the Penguin – Loud, clashing and funny!

children's literature

2. Taking selfies at funerals – Technically, this was after the funeral at a family get-together. Still tacky?

selfies
Cousins!

 

1. “Weird Al” Yankovic – Always has been tacky, always will be tacky!

 

Have you been tacky lately?

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