Toward the end of October, I called my mom, excited about the arrangements I had just made. “Mom, I just booked a Paint ‘n Take party for Lily!” Mom thought the party, where each child would paint a small ceramic figurine, would be perfect for Lily. Lily is a “crafty” kind of girl.

I was a little worried about this kind of party for five-year-olds. How long would it take them to paint a little figurine? 10 minutes? 2 minutes? I just couldn’t see these little kids painting for a whole hour.

“I’ll come and help you,” Mom said.

“Really?” I replied. “Do you really think you can come?” I was so excited.

“I think so!” she said. The last time Mom had been able to travel to our house was last March, to watch Lily’s first ballet recital. I was so pleased that she felt healthy enough to make the six-hour drive to help with her granddaughter’s birthday party!

The middle of November came. I got the call. The call to come to see my mom.

I canceled Lily’s party. I called parents, telling them Lily’s Grandma was sick.

The party was scheduled for November 21. Barely two days later, Mom died.

I didn’t have the heart to reschedule right away. Lily was amazing. She knew I would reschedule, and never once pestered me about her party. She was unbelievably patient for a five-year-old girl.

And so today is the day. Lily’s party, at last! She could hardly go to sleep last night with the excitement of it all.

As for me, I am crying while I write this post. Crying now, so I don’t cry later. Crying now, so that grief doesn’t strike me down in the middle of my darling daughter’s 5th birthday party. The party she’s been waiting for.

Lily with her grandma, March, 2009