The Twenty-Third of the Month

On the thirteenth of that month Farmer Cotton found Frodo lying on his bed; he was clutching a white gem that hung on a chain about his neck and he seemed half in a dream.

‘It is gone for ever,’ he said, ‘and now all is dark and empty.’     ~J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Today, on the twenty-third of this month, I had originally planned to publish The Hair on my Chinny Chin Chin. Today, on the twenty-third of this month, it seems like I should crawl into bed and mourn the whole day long.

But I didn’t.

This is the third anniversary of my mom’s death. I miss her greatly. I still grieve. But my grief has lessened, and that is a relief. There’s no way I could feel the level of grief I felt the day she died and go on living.

Instead of telling me that you’re sorry for my loss, tell me something about your mom. Something happy; something you love, something you share with your mom. Or something you miss about your mom.

I want to read it.


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27 Replies to “The Twenty-Third of the Month”

  1. I have the best Mum (on an even keel with yours Of course) in the world. She (and my Dad) has been helping me with my move for several days now and must be exhausted by now. I know it will be hard leaving them behind, but I know she and my Dad will make the journey to Norway at least once a year: for my birthday!
    My recent post Up and down

  2. First off! I like your blog! 😀
    Well, my mom is a sarcastic-yet-serious kind of person, she always makes me LOL even at myself, and though she's been through lots of tough moments, she manages to laugh and go on.. I LOVE her! 😀

  3. This Thanksgiving, I got to spend it with my mom, her mom and my sister. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to say that, but I'm feeling very blessed to have that. If you throw my daughter into the equation, that's 4 generations of women together. I know that's not very common these days, so I know just how special that is! It is at times like this that I like to spend as much time as possible with all of the women in my family so that I can learn as much as I can so that I can continue the legacy, if you know what I mean.

  4. I love this and I completely understand. This is my second holiday without my mom and I've lived my grief online. Late last week, I went outside and noticed that the bird of paradise was blooming. Just in time for my sister to see it as she came home for Thanksgiving. It's blooming out of season but I've grown used to it.

    It was my mom's favorite flower because of it's uniqueness. That same flower now adorns my back along with the Joseph Campbell quote "To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is not to die." and an I love you. My mom was my everything until my daughter was born. She is named after mom and all that happened before we ever had a clue that she was going to leave us.

    She adored the holidays and this year I find myself getting giddy in her honor for the decorations and festivities. I miss talking to her. Telling her about things going on in my life, getting her advice. But I miss most that she is not here physically to share in the daily shenanigans of her namesake. I know she's here in spirit but I wish I could give her a big hug.
    My recent post My Gifts

  5. My mom is one of the most strongest and determined woman I have ever known. She is 84 years old and her health is declining. I see her every week and we spend time together. I wish I could have more time with her…..thank you for your post! It is a great reminder of how short life is.
    My recent post Dollar Store Christmas Decorations

  6. What a beautiful way to honor your mother's memory. While I am sorry that you are sad, your own memories are surely beautiful and strong enough to get you through your loss.

    And as for me, my own mom is amazing. We all say that, right? I know. But mine is truly my bestest friend. Sometimes she drives me batty and I wouldn't have it any other way. We're truly lucky to have one another and the support I have from her makes me who I am. Now and always.
    My recent post Shop A Small Business Today!

  7. My 88 year old Mom is the fish in the family. She has always been the first one in the water and the last one out. We spend every Wednesday together and 9 times out of 10 we go shopping for a swimsuit. The first question at the dinner table on Wednesday evenings is, "What did you and Grammy do today? Not ANOTHER swimsuit!!!" I will always look at water and think of my Mom.

  8. There are so many memories of my mom that I could share, but one of my favorite is that she was a trumpet player in the Penn State marching band right after women were allowed to join. She was one of two female trumpet players in the entire band, which couldn't have been an easy thing– especially when they found out that she was a much more skilled player than the vast majority of them. She's lived her entire life like that– unafraid, as a fighter– and she has always inspired me to be fierce.

  9. This was a beautiful tribute to your mom. It breaks my heart that you aren't able to celebrate with her here today, but I know that those memories and the love you have for her will get you through.

    My mom is truly my best friend. She can drive me crazy sometimes, but she is always there for me. She makes me feel safe and I know that she will always pick up the pieces if I need her to. Seeing her with my kids has been one of the greatest joys.
    My recent post My Life In Numbers

  10. My sister and I are estranged from our mom, but I absolutely love my mother-in-law. She taught me that I can be loved unconditionally, flaws and all. She never judges and doesn't make me feel like the misfit of the family (I'm very different from my sisters-in-law!). We may not be able to choose our biological mothers, but thanks to my mother-in-law, I've learned that other women can be just as much of a mother to us also.
    My recent post Meal-Fed Kitties Or, Putting Cats on a Diet

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