Secrets for a Strong Marriage

In the January issue of Good Housekeeping, country singer Luke Bryan shares his secrets for a strong marriage to his wife, Caroline. One of his secrets; he rubs his wife’s feet every night before bedtime! Ed may not give me foot rubs, but he does know how to get out the knots between my shoulder blades. Here are some more secrets for our strong marriage.

We confide in each other. A few years back, Ed’s job was getting rocky. He tried not to talk to me about it too much because he didn’t want me to worry. But one night, he couldn’t hold back any longer. He told me what was happening and how worried he was. As soon as we talked about it, Ed felt so relieved. Yes, I was worried about his job now that I knew what was going on, but we were able to face it together. Many times, if something happens that bothers me, I’ll also confide in Ed and he’ll give me a new perspective on the problem.

We say good night to each other every night. Ed and I have different schedules; he wakes up at 5:00am to get to work by 6:00, while I stay in bed until after he’s already gone. So we don’t always go to bed at the same time. Some nights, he’s more tired that I am and so I’ll stay up to write. Other nights, I’m ready to get in pajamas at the same time my daughters do! But every night, regardless of what time we each go to bed, we tuck each other in and kiss each other good night.

We check in with each other. Unlike many married couples, Ed and I don’t communicate often during the work day. Ed doesn’t like to text, so he doesn’t even have texting on his phone. Instead, we email each other first thing in the morning. As I mentioned above, we might not even see each other before Ed goes to work, so this is how we say, “Good morning!”

We respect each other. Ed and I both lived alone for many years before we got married in our 30’s. We’re used to making our own plans and doing our own things. Just because we are married doesn’t mean we have to be always doing the same thing! Before we make our separate plans, however, we ask each other if it’s okay and check the calendar. We’re not asking permission to make plans; we’re being courteous and respecting each other as individuals. This respect goes beyond the calendar. It extends to other areas of our marriage as well.

We enjoy each other’s company. Although we sometimes do separate activities, such as my book club and Ed’s guys’ night out, we spend time a lot of time together with and without the kids. We genuinely enjoy being together even after eleven years of marriage!

Secrets for a Strong Marriage
What is your secret for a strong marriage?

*I first met Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club, a couple of years ago through a community based website. Fawn has traveled around the world and written a book about the best marriage secrets she discovered during her travels. You can grab a copy HERE. Read my honest review of The Happy Wives Club: One Woman’s Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage on Tuesday, January 7!


signature Read the true story about how Ed and I found love in the book Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Dating Game, available now!

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18 Replies to “Secrets for a Strong Marriage”

  1. Saying goodnight is something we do too. My husband and I balance one another – one of us will be strong when the other is feeling weak. And sometimes, when it’s needed, we cry together. We also dance together 🙂

    This is a lovely list, and has me smiling for you and your husband. Be well and happy new year! ~Catherine

  2. Great tips! I think communication is a HUGE one. My hubby is truly my best friend and we talk about everything – the good, the bad, and the ugly. We don’t always get to say goodnight every night because he travels so much for work and were are often on very different schedules in different time zones. But, we do make a point to talk every day, even when he’s away.
    Lisa @ The Golden Spoons recently posted…Happy New Year!My Profile

  3. I like the checking in with each other. Sometimes we go whole workdays or even his business trips, without really communicating. There was one time where he didn’t even tell me what hotel he was staying at!! I guess in the land of cellphones, it didn’t matter as much, but he got an earful that night and it hasn’t happened since.
    Honestly, we weren’t married long before our first kid came along, and we have been steadily learning that it’s a lot of work, but good work.
    tamaralikecamera recently posted…Just A Bit More Looking Back.My Profile

    1. I had Lily just a few weeks after our second anniversary, so we had about 2 years to get used to each other before kids came into the picture! There are some times when it annoys me that Ed doesn’t use his cell phone to just give me a call, but I usually know what he’s up to!
      Ginny Marie recently posted…Secrets for a Strong MarriageMy Profile

  4. Great tips!! We do the same if we go to bed at different times! And, we check in most days – texting makes it so easy for us!!
    Now that our boys are older (12 & 15), they usually do the clean-up after dinner while we sit at the table and chat.
    Kim recently posted…The FitBit ForceMy Profile

  5. It’s official! We all adore your husband now :). One of the secrets to our marriage is we genuinely like each other. And I mean alot. He’s my closest confidant. My best friend. Can’t imagine living this life without him. Thanks, Ginny Marie, for joining the Happy Wives Club blog tour. Grateful for you.

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