The First Step

As I stepped out onto our porch, I took a deep breath. Ed was still in bed, and the girls were parked on the couch, watching Saturday morning television. I walked to the end of the driveway, boots crunching on the freshly fallen snow. I picked up our newspaper and took it into the house. Placing it by the coffeemaker where Ed would find it, I contemplated trying to find the camera. The snow was so pretty, but finding the camera was going to take too much effort. Instead, I stepped back out that front door and started walking. It was cold. Not bitterly cold, but cold enough.

Almost as soon as I put my earbuds in my ears and turned on my MP3 player, I took them out again. Snow was drifting out of the clouds, falling gently to the ground, and yet there were birds chirping and conversing with one another. I wanted to listen.

About half a mile later, I decided I would listen to my music. My playlist, titled “Random,” actually is fairly random. From “Layla” by Derek & the Dominoes to the Dixie Chicks, from Beck to Stone Temple Pilots, I walked and listened. One foot in front of the other, pushing myself forward.

The sleepy, snowy neighborhood was slowly waking up. One man was shoveling his driveway. A car rushed by. In a hurry on a Saturday morning? I spotted another walker behind me, a woman with a pink knit hat.

As I walked, I thought about the laundry that always has to be washed, dried and folded. I thought about rehanging the valences on Lily’s windows. I was having trouble with her curtain rods. And I thought about all the blog posts I was going to write in my head that would probably never be written down.

I’m about to do a lot of walking.

A couple of weeks ago, I signed up for the Avon 2-Day Breast Cancer Walk. I committed to walking about 39 miles in two days. I committed to raising $1,800 for breast cancer research and treatment.

You already know why. My life has been dramatically affected by breast cancer.

Every five years that I survive breast cancer, I have committed to walk and raise money. This is my third walk; this will be my fifteenth anniversary of survival.

This is, however, the first walk I will participate in without my mom’s support. And if I write any more, I’m going to start crying.

Mom, this walk is for you.

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Since I blog with the pseudonym of Ginny Marie, I’m choosing not to post my fund raising page. If you would like to make a donation and help me raise money for breast cancer, please email me at lemondroppie[at]gmail[dot]com, and I’ll send you more information. Thank you!

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11 Replies to “The First Step”

  1. Congratulations on being 15 years cancer free!! My mum is recovering from breast cancer. She's been cancer free for one year. Sorry that you have to do this walk without your mum. I know you'll walk a couple miles for her.

  2. I just got all choked up because I know how you feel. There are things that moments that all I can say is my mom's not here because they are the only words I can get out.She would be so proud of you though! Every aspect of the walk, from fundraising to training, is going to be an emotional one for you but I hope that it is also very healing for you. She'll be with you every step of the way!

  3. I wish you the best of luck on your walk. My husband lost his mother 4 years ago to breast cancer and runs every year in the Susan G Kommen Race.

    The Mom and Dad Reviews

  4. Oh my gosh, the end of that just choked me up! She may not be there in body, but she'll be walking aside you in heart and spirit!

  5. You get so much thinking done during a simple walk. Bet you will have your mom walking with you this year in a different way.Stopping early from the SITS Cocktail Party! I am now following you on Twitter and Facebook.

  6. Well that is simply awesome that you're doing this. I'm proud of you (in a non creepy internet stalky kinda way). Send me your info so I can sponsor you.

  7. Ginny, wow….15 years cancer free! I got choked up at the end of your post. Hang in there, and let your mom's spirit fuel you in your walk!

  8. Congratulations on 15 years cancer free and thank you for participating in the walk, even though it will be harder this year. I hear it's just an amazing experience even for people who haven't been personally affected by cancer, so I can barely imagine what an experience it must be in your shoes!!Here from Cocktail Hour. Have a great rest of the week!

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