I now have permission to show you my mastectomy scar on Facebook. On page 3 of today’s Chicago Tribune, a headline announces “Facebook clarifies: Mastectomy photos OK.” Obviously, this story is very personal for me.
Don’t worry; I’m not going to run and grab my camera. I have no desire to show you my mastectomy scar. I don’t let anyone outside of my immediate family see me without my bra and my prosthesis, and if I do, you can be sure I’ll be wearing a nice, heavy sweatshirt to cover my lopsidedness. I’ve been living with a mastectomy for seventeen years, and I still have anxiety about certain situations.
On Monday, for example, I was with my family at Great America. The girls were eager to ride the roller coasters in the morning and swim at the water park after lunch. As I entered a changing room to switch from my clothes to my swimming suit, there was one itty-bitty problem. The curtain hanging down provided practically no privacy. The vinyl curled in leaving huge gaps at the sides, and it wasn’t wide enough to cover the doorway in the first place. Forget about my scar; I had no desire to flash my derriere to anyone who might be walking by!
Having a silicone prosthesis in place of my left breast makes changing from bra to swimsuit a little more time consuming. I have to remove my breast form from my bra and transfer it to the pocket in my swimming suit top. Pulling on my tankini top with my breast form already in place takes a little more maneuvering and adjusting to get things in place and just right. As I heard a little girl in the next stall fussing about the lack of privacy, I took a deep breath and changed. Quickly.
Even with my changing room anxieties, I have a positive self-image. I’m comfortable with my scar. I don’t regret my decision and I like the way I look. I just prefer that you all see me dressed. Although I hide my mastectomy scar from the world, Facebook’s decision to allow mastectomy scar photos caught my attention.
It all began with Facebook removing four photos from The Scar Project’s Facebook page along with banning photographer David Jay for 30 days for posting these photos. Facebook has a policy about publishing nude photos, which in my opinion is a good thing. In this case, however, blogger Scorchy Barrington felt there should be an exception. She started a petition on change.org to protest the photo removal, and is quoted in the Tribune as saying, “[Breast cancer is] life and death in some cases. It’s not a pink ribbon, it’s not a pink mixer.”
Receiving a breast cancer diagnosis or deciding to have a prophylactic mastectomy (as Angelina Jolie did) is not an “opportunity to get an upgrade” to bigger or perkier breasts. To remove the breast, the surgeon cuts into nerves. “New” breasts from reconstructive surgery do not feel like breasts. Even though I opted not to have reconstruction, I know this is true. At the site of my scar and under my arm, I am numb due to nerve damage from my surgery. There is nothing more annoying to us who have scars and numbed tissue when breast cancer is sexualized. “Save the Boobies!” is often a rally cry, and it annoys me to no end.
The first time I looked at the photos of The Scar Project, I cried. I saw myself at 27 with a brand new, bright red scar where there used to be a breast. I saw myself at 33, trying to find a wedding dress that would not reveal my lack of cleavage. I saw myself, pregnant at 35, wondering if I would be able to breastfeed my baby. The raw and naked emotions in these photos reveal so much. The women behind the scars are not fighting to save their boobs; they are fighting to save their lives.
And so while I’m glad Facebook is sticking to their policy to remove photos of nudity (I really don’t want nude photos popping up on Facebook), I feel like these brave women are showing us all how to live with our scars–whether we’ve survived cancer or other hardships. I think if you take a look at these photos, you’ll agree. Just grab a whole box of tissues before you look. By the way, David Jay’s next project is photographing scars of a different kind; scars received by soldiers from war. I only hope that this project toward peace receives just as much attention as the breast cancer project did.
Ginny, I had just "liked" some Facebook posts about this from some breastfeeding pages when your post popped up in my feed. I came over here straight away for your point of view. It's all well and good for me to go around "liking" things as I sit here with two healthy breasts and no perspective. I just can't imagine everything that you've been through. I'm glad to hear that you find importance in being able to share these images. I wonder if there are other survivors who would disagree. As always, thank you for your honesty and bravery sharing your experiences!
I thought about the breastfeeding pictures that have been banned on Facebook as I was writing this post, and I thought that was too much to tackle at one time! I absolutely loved breastfeeding my daughters!
My recent post Facebook okays mastectomy photos: Is it really okay?
Good for you for posting so candidly about this. I had a lumpectomy but I still have a lot of numbness too. I also worried about nursing (b/c I had radiation on the cancer side and so it would not respond to pregnancy) but was able to nurse my youngest out of the other breast. I get it, I get it!
My recent post Finish That Book. Or Don’t.
I have always wondered what would have happened during my pregnancies if I had chosen a lumpectomy and radiation! I would love to sit down with you and chat about your experiences. I have a feeling we would be able to talk for hours. 🙂
My recent post Facebook okays mastectomy photos: Is it really okay?
You inspire me on so many levels, Ginny Marie! Whenever I hear about someone facing cancer of any sort, you pop into my mind and I offer up a prayer, not only for them, but for you! Bless you! And, later when the kiddos who will not understand the purpose of such photos, I will go look…and be grateful that those scars mean that someone is a survivor. That makes them beautiful in their own way….
My recent post What A Week!
Thank you for the prayers, Julie! That means a lot to me! And yes, I agree that the photos should be viewed without children present. My own children haven't seen them, and they know what my scar looks like. Thank you so much for your comment!
My recent post Facebook okays mastectomy photos: Is it really okay?
You're so welcome, my dear friend! *hugs to you*
My recent post Bacon Cheeseburger Skillet (Soy, Wheat, Nut, Fish and Egg-Free, Can Be Milk-Free)
Thank you for sharing your touching story. (I have tears in my eyes) You have fought the war and won.
Thanks for reading, Barb! I appreciate it. 🙂
My recent post Facebook okays mastectomy photos: Is it really okay?
Thank you for writing this. No need for me to say more – just thank you. Well, I'll say one more thing. You look fabulous in the photo!
Oh, thank you, Nancy! Of course, my favorite part of that picture is Emmy. 😉
My recent post Facebook okays mastectomy photos: Is it really okay?
It's heartening to read your post, and see how far you've come post mastectomy. I was diagnosed at 27 too, so each day is a good one – though I'm still not keen on flashing my scar in change rooms! ~Catherine
Thanks, Catherine! It's rare for me to "meet" someone who was diagnosed as young as I was…thank you so much for stopping by!
My recent post Facebook okays mastectomy photos: Is it really okay?
Thank you for sharing your story, Ginny.
I should be thanking you, Scorchy, for starting that petition and really making a change! Thank you!
My recent post Facebook okays mastectomy photos: Is it really okay?
I've added you to my Feedly–such a nice blog. I really am in awe of women who have undergone mastectomy. It is such an unbalanced deal–amputate my breast and save my life. This disease is such a scourge. But we move ahead, arm-in-arm, strangers who are in a real sense family. All good things to you.
I was part of the mastectomy take down and am proud. Thanks for writing this post and reminding everyone that 17 years later the scars still effect us! Much love sister!
Thank you! I didn't see the petition in time to sign it, but you can be sure I would have!
My recent post Facebook okays mastectomy photos: Is it really okay?
This is a great post. Thanks for sharing a bit of your life and views with us.
Thank you.
Your courage and ability to write such pieces never seem to amaze me.
This is definitely a post I will be sharing!
My recent post Little Bins for Little Hands – Guest Post
Those are some of the best photos I've ever seen in my life. And yes, crushing to see, but inspiring too. The one with a tear running down her cheek might have just about done me in. Thanks for sharing.
My recent post The Finer Things.
I know just the photo you mean. That's the one I think about when I write about the Scar Project. Thanks for reading and commenting!
My recent post Facebook okays mastectomy photos: Is it really okay?
Thank you for writing this. I went to the website; so moving.