Tag: Spin Cycle

When I was going through cancer treatments, I tried to visualize a happy place to get me through the procedures. I started off by thinking about a grassy green meadow, with a blue sky above, and maybe some yellow flowers dotted throughout the grass. That happy place usually lasted only about five seconds, and then I would be distracted. I didn’t mind watching the phlebotomist draw my blood or the nurse pumping chemotherapy into my vein. It was actually a fascinating process, once I got over the fact that I had cancer.

My cancer treatments were completed long before I had Lily and Emmy. When Lily was little, she spent more time in hospital waiting rooms than many people have, and it had nothing to do with me. Before she was two, my brother was in a motorcycle accident and was in the hospital and rehabilitation for six months. Ed’s mom was in and out of the hospital due to rheumatoid arthritis and Parkinson’s disease. Then after twenty-five years, my own mother’s cancer was back with a vengeance.

It was a rough few years. I cried a lot. Lily and Emmy saw me cry a lot, and since they were so little, a toddler and a preschooler, they asked me why I was crying.

How do you explain the ache that you feel when your own mother dies? It was an ache I couldn’t bear to talk about. When the tears came, Ed would tell the girls, “Go make your mother feel better.” And they would come over to me, hug me and give me sweet baby kisses.

They are my happy place. Forget the green meadow with the yellow flowers and the blue sky. If I am with my daughters, I am happy.

There are times, however, when I need to get away from my children. It is nice to go to a conference or have a night away. Ever since we spent the night in this cabin in Talkeetna, Alaska, I’ve longed to go on a writing retreat. Wouldn’t this little cabin be the perfect happy place?

Whenever I do travel with Lily and Emmy, I always miss my babies. And I always know that as much as I enjoy being away, my happy place is waiting for me at home.

Where is your happy place and what does it look like? Thank you for inspiring the prompt this week, Tamara (Tamara Like Camera)!

Copy and paste the code in the box to add some Spin Cycle bling to your post! (On some blogs, you will need to delete the quote marks and replace them with regular quote marks.)

Sign up for my newsletter, and I’ll send you the Spin Cycle prompts each week:

Spin Cycle prompts for the month of October:

{week of Oct. 13 – Conquer}
{week of Oct. 20 – At the ________ }
{week of Oct. 27 – Mask}

When I think about the “Big Picture,” I usually imagine a large picture window, clean, clear, and offering a wide, unobstructed view of the outdoors.

I’m a very visual person. When I was learning how to knit, written instructions were useless to me, and even the pictures that accompanied the directions left me frustrated. It wasn’t until I watched a video on the knitting and purling process that I finally understood where the yarn was supposed to go in relation to the knitting needles. I finally got the big picture of how to knit, you might say.

When I was frustrated with potty training my children (one of my least favorite things to do!) one of my friends reminded me that my kids would get it, eventually. “They won’t be wearing diapers to college!” she said. And of course she was right. They were both out of diapers by the time they went to preschool.

Sometimes it’s so hard to look at that big picture. Those little details sure do block the view.

The other day I told Ed that I just don’t feel like I’m doing anything with my life. That feeling isn’t new. I don’t really know how I have time to feel this way. I’m very busy mothering, volunteering and teaching. I even joined a gym and have actually been “working out.”

When my daughters are in college, will I wonder if I did anything with my life? I’ll look back, and I’ll remember all the homework I helped Lily with and the piano lessons I drove Emmy to; I’ll remember the concerts I attended and the way I tried to hide the joyful tears after my child’s performance. I’ll laugh over the agony of potty training and have difficulty cutting those apron strings.

The big picture window will be clear, and hopefully I’ll see that I did okay. And I’ll still be looking out that picture window to catch a glimpse of that even bigger picture….

What does your big picture look like? Link it up here, and be sure to visit our other Spinners!

Copy and paste the code in the box to add some Spin Cycle bling to your post! (On some blogs, you will need to delete the quote marks and replace them with regular quote marks.)

Sign up for my newsletter, and I’ll send you the Spin Cycle prompts each week:

Spin Cycle prompts for the month of October:

{week of Oct. 6 – Your Happy Place, inspired by Tamara Like Camera}
{week of Oct. 13 – Conquer}
{week of Oct. 20 – At the ________ }
{week of Oct. 27 – Mask}