Category: writing

I wanted to get married so badly, but I did NOT want to plan a wedding. Ed and I were engaged at the beginning of April, and we wanted to get married in October. Only six months to plan one of the biggest events of our lives, and I was not the least bit interested in getting it done.

As a Lutheran pastor’s family in a small town,  we were at every wedding that took place in that town. I watched the wedding ceremonies from the balcony as my father was up front officiating. I listened to my mother singing, most likely Malotte’s “The Lord’s Prayer.” Hearing it sung so many times unfortunately has me automatically rolling my eyes whenever someone else sings it. I know every note of that song by heart! After the service, everyone headed over to the Parish Hall, known as the school gymnasium during the week, for cold cuts and butter mints. The dance was at the American Legion Hut, where the adults stood around listening to the band and the kids ran around the Hut, the cool evening grass tickling our bare feet. My sister and I collected the wedding napkins. You know, the ones with the bride and groom’s names embossed on them. We had a large box full of just napkins from all the weddings we attended.

These memories are good memories, yes. However, after attending dozens and dozens of weddings as a child, I grew to dislike weddings. And so when it was my turn to get married, I wanted a church wedding and dancing at our reception, but I didn’t have any interest in actually planning the event. My parents had just moved to Colorado, so my mom was too far away to help me with the details. I missed her so much and wanted her to live close to me again. My sisters also lived out-of-town, and my mother-in-law to be was not in the best of health. It was up to Ed and me to plan our wedding together. Since I was teaching at the time, we figured I would have plenty of time to plan during my summer vacation.

We survived the whole planning process pretty well, although once we set the date, we discovered that October is the second most popular month for weddings. Finding a reception hall was more challenging than we thought it would be. There were a few panicky days as we tried to secure a location before our trip to Yellowstone. By the time school resumed, Ed and I felt like everything was under control.

There was one thing I had resigned myself to; I would not be getting a bridal shower or bachelorette party. My maids of honor, my sisters, were out of town. One of my bridesmaids had basically told me she wasn’t planning a shower for me, even though I had thrown a nice bachelorette party for her a couple of years before. I didn’t have the energy to organize my own party; plus, that felt just weird. I was feeling a lot of stress in planning the wedding in just six months as it was. So while I felt sorry for myself, I tried to focus on the big day itself instead of a shower.

One Sunday afternoon, Ed and I were driving to the northern suburbs to meet his family for dinner, which was a weekly event. I remember feeling particularly crabby that day. I don’t remember why. But when Ed’s sister called to ask us to stop by the grocery store on the way to the restaurant, I lost it. I ranted and raved. Why did we have to stop to get bread, of all things, for his sister?

I think I was still complaining about one thing or another to Ed as we walked into the restaurant and suddenly people yelled, “SURPRISE!” I would hate to see the look on my face if anyone took a picture! Ed and his sister had pulled together a surprise shower for me, and I hadn’t suspected a thing!

That surprise party was so sweet and thoughtful, and I’m sure I didn’t appreciate it as much as I should have. It also makes me wonder…

…what others secrets has Ed been keeping?

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